Posted on February 04 2016
Obviously every woman's preferences are different so we expect some level of argument, but these tips are pretty foundational. You want women to want to touch you? Follow these guidelines.
1. Keep your nails short and clean (long or dirty nails mean your fingers won't get to do any exploring...if you know what I mean).
2. Same goes for toenails, minus the "exploring" reason. This is just because long toenails are off-putting and makes it look like you don't care about yourself.
3. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT shave your chest hair. That makes naked time...uncomfortable and prickly. Plus, chest hair is sexy. It means you're a man. Women who like men will like that you're a man.
4. Do keep the package region neatly trimmed though. Please. Not shaved, just...managed.
5. Brush and floss teeth in the morning and before bed.
6. If you have gnarly back/shoulder hair, and you currently remove it by shaving or waxing...save up the money and get it lasered.
7. To sum up 3,4,&6: Stubble anywhere but the face is a huge turn-off. Huge.
8. Stubble ON the face, however, is usually sexy as hell.
9. Go minimal with the hair product. We like to be able to touch your hair.
10. Speaking of hair, if it's going gray, leave it be. Again, this is sexy. A man who dyes his hair in an attempt to hold onto his youth just screams pathetic.
11. This is a personal one: soft hands on man creep me out. If you can't help it, cool. But if you're making an effort to get rid of those calluses from rock climbing or woodworking, please stop.
12. Two eyebrows are better than one. But any more attention/effort than that is a turn-off.
13. The fancy facial hair thing, like the little line that just runs along the jaw, or weird pointy thin sideburns--just stop, it's the male version of "high maintenance".
14. Messy hair is hot. And so is the Don Draper look. Get thee to a barber shop and have another man cut your hair. If you haven't ever done this and you are above the age of 18, go now. P.S., what's NOT hot is this weird shaved sides, long on top thing that you see on every hipster with a beard and flannel shirt pretending he's a lumberjack but doesn't know how to hold an ax, let alone use one. That hairstyle gives it away.
15. Keep your nether regions, front and back, clean. Very clean. Like, daily soap and water clean.
16. If you have dandruff, treat it. Now. A doctor can prescribe shampoo that works better than the stuff at the drugstore, and it's pretty cheap too. Otherwise, use Selsun Blue. Dandruff is not hot on anyone.
17. Shaving legs or arms is not cool. Unless you're a competitive swimmer.
18. The little bumps on the back of your arms. It's called keratosis pilaris and taking supplemental vitamin A (not beta carotene) can really help, but check with your doctor first. Exfoliating (aka getting a scrubby washcloth and rubbing it on the bumpy places while you shower) is also a good option.
19. Your natural smell is better than heavy cologne. A slight, barely noticeable added scent can be nice though.
20. Use a clear or gel deodorant, not a white one that gets all stuck in your armpit hair. And if your deodorant is giving you that underarm rash where it looks like the skin is peeling off (I have seen this SO many times), take break for a few days, and switch brands to a less harsh one.
21. Not really a grooming tip, but just as important...Smile. Laugh. Have a hobby you are totally passionate about. Learn about yourself. Grow as a person. Quit the job you hate. Do work you love. Read books (the kind you hold in your hand and turn physical pages). Be kind. Be compassionate. Get a plant and take care of it. Don't get a pet if you can't keep a plant alive. Be a better version of yourself than you were yesterday. Express gratitude. Smile again.